Grief changes us. It arrives quietly for some, suddenly for others, but when we lose someone we love, life never quite returns to the way it was before. The world continues moving, while a part of us stands still, holding memories, conversations, gestures and moments that suddenly become precious beyond words. Throughout history, people search for ways to keep the memory of a loved one close. Photographs, letters, heirlooms and rituals all become vessels for remembrance. Jewellery holds a special place amongst these objects because it is intimate.
Jewellery rests against the skin, is worn daily, touched absentmindedly, held during difficult moments and carried through life. Mourning jewellery exists within this deeply human need to remember. Creating bespoke mourning jewellery pieces for clients wishing to carry the ashes of a loved one — or sometimes the ashes of a beloved pet — is part of my work. Each commission is profoundly moving for me as a maker. These are not simply decorative objects. They are deeply personal pieces created out of love, grief, memory and connection. There is something incredibly powerful about transforming sorrow into something tangible and beautiful. A ring, pendant or small vessel becomes more than jewellery. It becomes a companion through grief.
Jewellery as a Companion Through Grief
We all experience grief differently. There is no correct way to mourn and no timeline that truly defines bereavement. Some people speak openly about loss, while others carry their grief quietly and privately. Some find comfort in rituals and traditions. Others seek solace in objects, places or gestures that help them feel connected to the person they have lost. People often say that time heals. I believe time softens certain edges of grief, but love does not disappear. Memories remain with us and often continue shaping our lives long after someone has gone.
This is one reason mourning jewellery can hold such emotional significance. A piece of jewellery containing ashes allows someone to carry a physical connection to the person or animal they love. It offers closeness. Comfort. Presence. Many clients who contact me want something discreet, personal and meaningful. A small hidden compartment. A subtle vessel close to the heart. Something intimate that belongs only to them.There is great tenderness in this.
When I create these pieces, I am always aware that I am being entrusted with something sacred. Ashes are not merely a material. They represent a relationship, a life, a shared history. Often, the conversations surrounding these commissions are emotional. Clients speak about a parent, partner, child, friend or cherished pet. They speak about memories, habits, humour, companionship and absence. Through these conversations, the jewellery slowly becomes a portrait of love. In many ways, the making process itself becomes part of the grieving process.
A Memorial Pendant Carrying Ashes
One of the mourning jewellery commissions that has stayed with me most deeply was a minimalist white gold pendant designed to contain the ashes of a loved one.
At first glance, the pendant appears simple: a clean square tube pendant suspended from a chain. Yet behind that simplicity lies extraordinary symbolism and craftsmanship.
I first created the square tube in white gold and soldered it shut at one end. I then carefully sawed 15mm from the top section to create the lid. After drilling the piece so the chain could pass directly through the tube, I soldered both the top and bottom closed.
At this stage, the pendant vessel was ready to receive the ashes.
Once the ashes had been carefully placed inside, I soldered the lid permanently onto the body of the pendant. I then polished and textured the finish by hand in order to obscure the solder seam completely, allowing the piece to feel seamless and whole.
The reverse of the pendant carries a personal engraving honouring the loved one whose ashes rest inside.
What moves me about pieces like this is their quiet intimacy.
Nobody looking at the pendant would immediately know what it contains. Yet for the wearer, it becomes profoundly meaningful — a discreet memorial pendant carrying memory, grief, love and presence close to the body every day.
When Did People Start Putting Ashes Into Jewellery?
The tradition of placing ashes into jewellery is actually relatively modern when compared to older forms of mourning jewellery.
Historically, cremation itself was less common in many Western societies for centuries, particularly throughout Christian Europe where burial was traditionally preferred. Because of this, earlier mourning jewellery usually incorporated other forms of remembrance, such as miniature portraits, woven hair, inscriptions or lockets containing fabric, photographs or tiny keepsakes.
It was only during the late 19th and especially the 20th century that cremation gradually became more widely accepted across Europe and North America. As cremation became increasingly common, memorial jewellery naturally evolved alongside changing funeral and remembrance practices.
The modern practice of incorporating ashes into jewellery began gaining visibility during the late 20th century and became far more widespread during the early 2000s.
In many ways, however, the emotional intention behind ashes in jewellery is not modern at all.
Although historical mourning jewellery did not usually contain ashes, people have long sought ways to preserve a physical connection to those they love. Victorian hair jewellery, for example, served a remarkably similar emotional purpose: creating intimacy, remembrance and closeness through a tangible element of the person who had passed away.
Today, ashes have become a contemporary continuation of this deeply human desire.
Modern mourning jewellery may look more minimalist and discreet than its Victorian predecessors, but the emotional thread remains the same.
We still long to keep our loved ones close.
Wedding Rings as Mourning Jewellery
One of the most touching memorial jewellery commissions I ever created involves a couple renewing their wedding vows for their 25th wedding anniversary.
Rather than buying entirely new wedding rings, they chose to remodel their original rings and incorporate the memory of their daughter, who had passed away several years earlier.
The symbolism behind these rings is deeply moving. Her wedding ring is a celebration of family connection and enduring love through their birthstones. The centre stone, an opal, is her own birthstone. White sapphires, their daughter’s birthstone. And green garnets on the outer edges, her husband’s birthstone.
His ring carries a more discreet form of remembrance. The ring itself is hollow and designed to contain a small amount of their daughter’s ashes. Placing the ashes inside the ring, I soldered it shut beneath an engraved star.
Both rings carry the same engraved star motif. For the couple, the star symbolised their daughter.
I often think about these rings because they beautifully demonstrate how mourning jewellery can become integrated into everyday life and ongoing love stories. These were not pieces created only to mourn loss. They were also created to celebrate marriage, family, continuity and remembrance.
The Symbolism of Ashes in Jewellery
Ashes carry profound symbolism. Representing continuity rather than finality. A physical trace of someone who is deeply loved. Incorporating ashes into jewellery can therefore feel comforting and grounding. The act itself is often incredibly emotional. Many clients experience this moment for the very first time when we carefully open the urn together to transfer a small amount of ashes into the jewellery. Often, there is uncertainty beforehand. People do not know what to expect. I gently describe the ashes as resembling a coral beach. Fine grey sand interspersed with pale fragments that remind me of dried white coral.
Hopefully, this description helps create calmness and serenity around a moment that can initially feel overwhelming.
Handeling these moments with immense care, sensitivity and respect is important. Although, not all clients want to be present during the transferring of the ashes. Sometimes, preferring to open the urn in the privacy of their own home and given me a tiny box with a little of the ashes for me to insert into the jewel.
Clients sometimes arrive feeling uncertain about whether they should proceed with a commission. They may have held onto ashes for years without knowing what to do with them. The jewellery becomes a place for remembrance. Rather than ashes remaining hidden away in an urn or cupboard, they become integrated into everyday life. A pendant is touched while walking. A ring catches the light during ordinary moments. A necklace is worn during significant milestones and quiet days alike.
In this way, mourning jewellery can create continuity between past and present. I also believe there is something beautiful in creating jewellery from love rather than from loss alone. Although these pieces emerge from grief, they are ultimately about connection.
Mourning Jewellery for Beloved Pets
Only recently did I receive my very first commission to create mourning jewellery containing the ashes of a beloved pet. The piece was commissioned in memory of a puppy who passed away at only three months old due to a genetic illness.
Even writing these words still move me. The grief surrounding the loss of an animal companion is often deeply underestimated, especially when that life feels heartbreakingly short. Anyone who loves a pet understands that these relationships are real, profound and emotionally significant. Animals become part of our daily rituals, our homes and our emotional world. Their companionship is quiet, loyal and unconditional.
When they are gone, the absence can feel enormous. Creating this memorial pendant reminds me once again that mourning jewellery is ultimately about love and attachment, regardless of whether that bond is with a partner, parent, child, friend or animal companion.
For the owner, this small pendant becomes a way to keep her puppy close to her. A gentle and discreet reminder of a life that, although brief, carries immense love.
I believe memorial jewellery for pets will become increasingly meaningful for many people because our relationships with animals are often deeply intertwined with comfort, companionship and emotional support.
The Emotional Responsibility of the Maker
Creating mourning jewellery carries a particular emotional responsibility. Every commission requires trust. Clients are sharing vulnerable stories and entrusting me with deeply personal materials connected to someone they love. This means the process must be approached with sensitivity, care and respect.
One memorial jewellery commission that remains especially personal to me was the creation of a heart pendant containing the hair of a young woman named Nathalie, whose fight against cancer ended in November 2018.
Nathalie was not only the person being remembered — she had also been one of my clients.
Over the years, I had remodelled a few jewellery pieces for her. The final commission I created for Nathalie herself was a pair of gold ginkgo leaf earrings.
She had commissioned them in celebration of the nomination of her beloved “Snuiterboom” — the Ginkgo Biloba tree in Egmont Park in Brussels — for the “Tree of the Year” awards in 2016.
The commission now feels especially poignant to me because the ginkgo tree itself symbolises resilience, endurance and memory.
The leftover gold from creating the earrings later become part of the memorial heart pendant containing some of Nathalie’s hair. That continuity makes the piece especially emotional to create.
The pendant was commissioned by Nathalie’s parents as a Christmas gift for Nathalie’s daughter — a deeply personal gesture of love, remembrance and family connection across generations.
Nathalie was also the founder of Talismanneke, a charity supporting children and families affected by cancer. Including this part of her story feels important to me because the pendant is not only about grief, but also about honouring the kindness, generosity and legacy she leaves behind.
What matters most to me when creating mourning jewellery is that the final piece feels authentic to the person being remembered and meaningful to the person wearing it.
Mourning jewellery should never feel generic. The emotional connection is what gives the piece its value. I often think about how jewellery accompanies people through the most important moments of life: celebrations, commitments, milestones, family histories and memories. Mourning jewellery is part of this continuum.
Becoming an heirloom not because of financial value, but because of emotional significance.
Creating Beauty For Memory
Whenever I create mourning jewellery, I am reminded of how powerful jewellery can be.
Across cultures and throughout history, rituals surrounding death and remembrance have helped people process grief. Funerals, ceremonies, memorial objects and acts of remembrance all create space for mourning and reflection. Jewellery can become part of these rituals.
There is comfort in wearing something intentionally created to honour someone.
Some people wear mourning jewellery every day. Others reserve it for moments when they particularly need closeness or comfort. Some eventually pass these pieces down through generations, carrying stories and memories forward.
I find it fascinating that jewellery can hold both permanence and emotion in such a quiet way.
Unlike photographs displayed publicly, mourning jewellery is often private. It may not be recognisable to others. The meaning is usually carried silently by the wearer. There is something deeply intimate about that. A hidden vessel. A secret memory. A quiet act of remembrance.
It becomes a quiet reminder that although someone may no longer be physically present, they remain woven into our lives. And perhaps that is what mourning jewellery has always represented throughout history.
Every mourning jewellery commission begins with a conversation. If you would like to discuss creating a bespoke memorial piece for someone close to your heart, you are welcome to book an appointment or contact me directly.
